Chuck Norris vs Rajni Kanth

Chuck Norris	Our own... Rajni Kanth Sir!
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lays potato chip.	Our Rajni Kanth Sir was the one who invented this tag line so that he could trick Chuck Norris into eating just one and have the rest of the packet himself!
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.	Our dear Rajni Kanth Sir had taken an oath four years ago at the Tirumala Tirupati Balaji Temple never to sneeze again - obviously he can control his sneezes - after a particularly devastating tsunami happened off the east coast of India some hundred miles from Madras.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded pistol and won.	Our own Rajni Kanth Sir did the same thing, except with a Kalashnikov which broke down after the first shot, after he spat back the bullet (from in-between his teeth) on to the rifle.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.	How do you think all dinosaurs disappeared one fine day and the horses began inhabiting the earth in the first place?
Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.	Transmission by electrical signals? Naah! Remember that respected Rajni Kanth Sir can run faster than the speed of electricity. So at times like these, he takes out his specially made shades - a gift from NASA in 1993 as a mark of appreciation for successful completion of one of his less than mundane assignments; something to do with changing the trajectory of meteor Schumacher-Levy 9 to avoid collision with earth - and wears them in his trademark style. These shades are actually miniature artificial black holes. They cause a tear in the space-time continuum and suck in all energy into it (including the audio-visual components) and thus bring the message in the wysiwyg (what you see is what you get) form right to his eyes in less than a nano-second. Whoaaa!

And as if this was not enough, one can always say [F-word] Norris, but no one can make fun of our beloved Rajni Kanth Sir Ji's name. Always remember nobody messes with HIM. Long live Rajni Kanth Sir Ji.


DISCLAIMER: The author (that's me) does not intend to hurt any emotional or/and religious sentiments by this article. He would like to apologize to persons to whom he might have caused such and such to happen. Also the opinions expressed here are his own (of course they are, this is original stuff) and not of any organization that he may be affiliated to.

PS. Under the copyleft laws, please feel free to reproduce/modify/distribute this content with or without any credit to the author. To subscribe to this blog, click here.

#9

I like barbers who don't mistake your head for a rubix cube while they go about their business, and shorten only the hair, not the self-esteem.

#8

There's many a slip 'twixt the lip and a lip

#7

Caught between Ambition and Ataraxia

Haiku attempt #3

This ones for the Department, and the years spent with it, in it.

Rainy, monsoon, afternoon
Dep foyer; perched atop the boundary wall
leaning against the pillar, I gaze.

If you have no clue about what the above is, click here

#6

The problem with modern times is that the devils don't wear their horns on the head.

#5

"Down the Gehenna, or up the Throne, he travels fastest who travels alone." - Joseph Rudyard Kipling

#4

Trust a girl to find a cute name even for the pancreas.

कृ8♀T - Donate Eyes

It is not for nothing that humans are God's masterpiece on earth, and even to top that women amongst them are the epitome of his creativity. Don't agree? Let me show you how. Its simple, women are creativity personified. In fact creativity literally means the process of 'creating eves' - create-eve-ity - see. Anyways, this label of posts from me is dedicated to the other man made forms of creativity. Hopefully you've decrypted the title now!

Here goes the first one, that did impress me much!

arbit thought #30

Do you often - or atleast sometimes - not wonder that there are things which no one talks about, writes about, or even thinks about. They seem so silly and trivial that, we don't even care to wonder about them, leave alone share a thought with someone. Some how even comparing the number of weekly page visits on one's orkut profile, seems less weird.

It is then that I begin to wonder - is it just me? Following is one such thingamajig, that I keep thinking about till it makes me sick.

When was the last time you lay sick in bed - hopefully due to some minor sickness - and with your mind free of any meaningful thoughts, you noticed that you always ended up turning your gaze towards the source of light in that room - the white tube-light, or the monotonous incandescent bulb, or these days the even more so monotonous chloro-fluorescent lamps; and this happened again and again, even when you didn't want it to, till you reached a point when you started detesting it. This happens to me all the time, even when I 'm not sick, probably because I've gotten to this habit of sleeping with all lights on. It is then that I direct my sight to the other side in resentment and start thinking that we are no less stupid than insects - and while I am doing this, with my limited logical ability and knowledge, I start noticing these arbit shapes flying in front of my eyes - yes, I had warned you that it is going to be weird and completely arbit - in a random fashion.

They are usually in the shape of short crooked strokes and, sometimes even dots or circles. There's very few of them, and when you fix your eyes on any one of them - now that is when the game begins. You can never look at them, they always outrun your spot of focus. You shall keep chasing them as much as you want; they are like a currency note that is tied to a hardly visible thread, that is pulled by a man hiding in the bushes, just as a passer by bends down to pick it up - in movies or 'Just for Gags'.

Perhaps they are something inside the eyes or just something on the cornea, but that is not relevant. This I believe should be a common occurrence to everyone, yet no one talks about it. I know it is meaningless, but is it not also strange. Why did anyone in the past 23 years of my existence have the inquisitiveness to talk about this to me, or why is it only now that I am talking, no writing in oblivion, about this. Is it because this is the final semester, and having been placed I have nothing better to do?

Now, this is the part where I am going to filter out something profound from the 'blahbrage' above. It is amazing the ways in which human societies consider issues/ topics/occurrences worthy/relevant or not to talk and write about. Give it a thought, isn't the above 'phenomenon' I have written about more speakable/writable than news about two Canadians marrying under the sea, or gossip about the tiff between Ekta Kapoor and the other self assumed bimbo girl - what's her name...eh..whateva..